Dependence

Emotional dependence is a very fashionable pairing lately, but it turns out that it’s often thrown out just like that, in any context. Of course, in its severe form, it’s very damaging. If one person is paralyzed by absolute expectation of another, then they will not be well.

However, is the opposite—being completely independent of the other, even in a couple—adequate? Extremes can always be found. Of course, we need emotions to live. Affection makes life meaningful, and when you have a bond, the relationship depends on what you build together, but also on the other person.

They often refer to emotional dependence when we rely on the other person for every plan, when feeling in sync depends on their affection. Isn't that also love? In that sense, is it possible to build ourselves without the other person, in solitude? Where is the hope, the expectation? It is very difficult to love without waiting.

Surely there are levels and there are healthy relationships and others that are not, but it doesn't seem right to impose concepts or, as in this case, to make people think that being very independent is the best option and to believe that being so means being able to do everything in complete individuality. That is not equal to strength because we are social beings; we need others, both their help and the emotions they generate in us.

Affection and a sense of belonging are important for forming the bond, for whatever it is, and needing another person has nothing to do with weakness. Deliberately repeating this concept makes people, if they're not strongminded, think twice before expressing themselves, suppressing an impulse because they believe that making demands of others will give the impression of being vulnerable, and there's nothing worse for feelings than holding back.

Loving isn't depending. Emotionally depending on another person occurs when what your partner does or wants determines your life and immobilizes you. It's a psychological need for total attachment that's usually accompanied by low self-esteem, limits your activities, and it creates anxiety, fear, and insecurity.

Translated by Amilkal Labañino / CubaSí Translation Staff