Karoline Leavitt, the spokesperson with the impossible mission of selling snake oil, came out to explain the inexplicable: that Donald Trump "had a feeling, again, based on facts" that Iran was going to attack. In other words, ladies and gentlemen, we have a president governing by "gut feelings." Like when you feel today is your lucky day and you bet everything on red, only here the red was blood and the numbers were missiles.

The young woman, with a face that rivaled a poker game, insisted that "the president wasn't simply going to be another president in a very long list who stood idly by." And boy, did he stand idly by. He rolled up his sleeves, attacked Iran, and... the result? That Iran, instead of disappearing off the map like in the movies Trump watches at Mar-a-Lago, retaliated and blew up half of his military infrastructure in the region.

Now it turns out that the guy with the "gut feeling" is in such a mess that not even his famous fertilizer can fix it. The allies? They're nowhere to be seen. NATO? "This isn't my problem," they said, pretending to tie up dogs with sausages. Even the living former presidents—yes, those he despises—had to go on national television to say: "Lies, nobody consulted us or endorsed us."

And we come to the climax of the show: the cost. Because, of course, wars aren't won with "intuition," they're won with money, and here the American purse is more empty than the promises in Trump's campaign. The losses are count in the billions. Yes, with a capital B. While people in Ohio can't afford to heat their homes, the man in the red tie decided it was a good time to play Rambo and show that he doesn't just sit idly by. No, sir. He sits with his arms akimbo watching the defense budget go down the drain and the soldiers return in boxes.

Conclusion (in case anyone still had doubts): Trump returned with his arrogant demeanor and reminded us that, indeed, he is not just another president. He is the president who achieved the unthinkable: starting an unnecessary war, losing it in record time, losing all his friends, and on top of that, emptying the treasury. All because of a "feeling." Next time, perhaps he should consult a fortune teller; after all, the result would be the same, but at least it would be cheaper.

Translated by Amilkal Labañino / Cubasi Translation Staff